CategoryMovie Reviews

Movie reviews

Happytime Murders, The

In The Happytime Murders, the only thing that was really killed was one and a half hours of my time. The red-band trailer for this movie (1 Icee out of 5) had almost everything right.  There is a lot of foul language, sexual explicity and muppet violence.  The one thing missing… humor.  This was one of the most unfunny “comedy” movies I have ever seen.  Only once in a while did I mutter a chuckle (which is the only reason it didn’t get zero Icees).

This movie had promise, but it just didn’t deliver.  Mixing puppets in with humans and the interaction between them could bring some really funny moments, but in their attempt to make it crude (and that is one area in which they succeeded), they forgot it was also supposed to be funny.

It seems that Melissa McCarthy seems to think that the more times she says the f-word, the funnier a movie is.  That is a shame because I think she can be an incredibly funny actress (I loved her in Mike and Molly).  The jokes are unfunny, the racism overly done, and overall it’s just not a good movie.  It’s not often I totally trash a movie, but this one deserves it.  It deserves the 22% rating from critics and 48% from audiences on  It’s that bad.

There are bloopers during the credits, which in reality are funnier than the movie itself (sad, isn’t it?).  No scenes after the credits.

Save your money and go see something else… anything else.


Mile 22

It’s a movie that is disliked by both the critics and the audience on  I have to say, I may not dislike it as much as they do, but I’m not really what you would call “a fan” either.  I give it 2.5 Icees (out of 5).

The problems in this movie are many, but let me just discuss a few.  First, much of the dialog in the first part of the film is difficult to follow. Whether it be background noise, heavy accents (yes, even that famous Boston accent), or just difficult narrative, it just made trying to understand what they were saying a chore, and I don’t go to the movies to work!  Second, they don’t spend enough time with the other characters as everything is focused on Mark Wahlberg.  I get it… he’s the star… but there are others in the movie too that would have been good to hear about, and his character really isn’t that likeable… that doesn’t help.  I would have liked to have known more about Rhonda Rousey’s character. I thought she did a good job with the limited amount of airtime that she had. Laura Cohen’s character was the only other character that any type of development was done and it just wasn’t enough.

Why did this get 2.5 Icees then?  The action is really good, the fight scenes well choreographed, and just enough plot changes to make it so that you can’t predict what’s going on.  These things made the movie tolerable and sometimes even enjoyable.  These scenes aren’t just good, they’re intense, which is a sign of good directing.. sadly, the writing just didn’t keep up.

No scenes during or after the credits.


Spy Who Dumped Me, The

This movie is a great example of the reason that Reviews By The Don was created.  Currently this movie has a critics rating of 38% on, with an audience rating of 77%.  So who do you turn to?  Simple… ME!  Below I will explain why this movie gets 3.5 Icees out of 5.  This isn’t the “deep” movie that will thrill the critics, but it is one that most audiences will enjoy.

First, you know going in that this is a comedy with some action in it, so that’s what you should expect.  You shouldn’t go in expecting Mission: Impossible or The Hangover, but something somewhere in-between, and that’s what you get with this movie.  It has more action than I anticipated.  I think the action, shootings and stabbings alone would get it an R-rating. Throw in the language and a brief nudity scene and you get a movie that more than deserves the R-rating it has received.

The action is pretty well choreographed.  Now, it’s not Bourne or anything, but it is a decent movie from an action standpoint.

That takes us to the comedy.  You won’t fall out of your chair laughing, but you will laugh.  Kate McKinnon has moments where her comedy shines, and when you combine that with Mila Kunis playing the innocent, well… it just works.  In case this wasn’t enough for the ladies, you throw in a couple of studly guys with Justin Therox and Sam Heughan and now you have a movie that ladies should enjoy.  Well, that’s if they enjoy some action and killin’ as well.

During a slow weekend like this, you can either go back and watch MI6 or you can watch this.  Either way, you will have a good time at the movies.

There are two short scenes during the credits, but nothing afterwards.


Mission: Impossible – Fallout

This exciting addition to the franchise gets a solid 4.5 Icees out of 5.  It has action, twists, great fight scenes… everything you’d expect from a Mission Impossible movie.  The only thing that knocks it back is that some parts of it are just a little too predictable.

Newcomers Angela Bassett and Henry Cavill, along with Vanessa Kirby add some good depth to the file, but the cool thing about this movie is that it brings back (as shown in the trailers) Rebecca Ferguson as Ilsa and Michelle Monaghan as Julia (I think Mr. Hunt has a type… just sayin’).  Throw in an ample amount of Ving and Simon, mixing in just a touch of Alec and you have the whole gang.  Well, except for Jeremy Renner, which I missed not being a part of this one.  I liked his character.  Oh well.  Interesting side note about Jeremy.  He wasn’t in Avenger’s; Infinity War (Hawkeye) and he wasn’t in this.  I sure hope he didn’t pass up roles in those two movies to be in Tag.  That would just be sad.

Anyways, back to MI6…  The stunts in this movie were incredible, and even if some were done in front of a green screen… they were still pretty darn good!  There are some obvious “twists” that you see a mile away but some that come as a surprise.  Either way, there are twists a-plenty.

If you are a fan of the Mission: Impossible franchise, you will thoroughly love this movie.  If not, well I still think you’ll like it.

No scenes during or after the credits.


The Equalizer 2

This pretty decent sequel gets 3.5 Icees out of 5.  This is one of those movies that is the type that caused Reviews By The Don to be created.  It’s a movie the critics hate (currently 49%) but the audiences (me included) like.  Now I’m not saying this is the best movie of the summer, but it’s an enjoyable distraction, especially if you were a fan of the last one, or the TV series from the 80s.  In fact, one of the things I liked about this movie is that it shows him helping average people, which is a throwback to the TV series.

Denzel is his usual excellent self.  His range of emotions that he can show is amazing, from calm, to angry to content.  Now you don’t get to see much joy, but those other emotions are displayed quite well.  Another thing that is done very well are the action scenes.  His utter brutality, done in such a smooth fashion, is pretty awesome.

The reasons that this movie couldn’t get more than 3.5 Icees are many, sadly.  First is that the plot is too predictable, with a villain that you can see a mile away.  There are also spots in the movie where it seems to plod along.  Combine that with a scene in the trailers that is not in the movie (a pet peeve of mine) and you end up with a lower rating.  Now that doesn’t mean that the movie isn’t enjoyable, because it is… just not higher than the 3.5 Icees that it got.

No scene after the credits



This is one of those movies that I thoroughly enjoyed watching, but in all good conscience can’t give it a super high rating.  Therefore, I am settling for a 3 Icee (out of 5) rating for this fun, action-packed movie that my wife and I both really enjoyed watching.

So, if I liked it so much, how come it only gets 3 Icees?  Well, the plot is too predictable, the outcome very obvious, and the hero overly heroic (although I think the wife actually outshines the hero in this but more about that later).

A friend of mine said that from the trailers it looked like Die Hard meets Towering Inferno.  Well…  she’s not wrong. As you have seen from the trailers (and more about the trailer for this movie in just a moment), it’s a tall building, there are bad guys, and the building is on fire.  Yeah, that pretty much covers it.

As far as acting goes, The Rock is The Rock, so of course he’s going to do well.  Although to be honest, I think that Neve Campbell stole the movie as a wife who is not the too often wrongly portrayed “Oh please help me” type of wife.  She’s pretty darn capable by herself, thank you very much.

Now back to trailers.  If you have watched the trailers you will notice (and it will probably bug you as much as it did me) that what seemed like an important scene isn’t even in the movie!  That’s just irritating to me.  This is one of the reasons that I stopped showing trailers on the site (plus the fact that it’s a lot of work and people didn’t seem to be viewing them anyway).

So what did I like about the movie?  It’s action is really good and there’s just the right amount of intensity (at times) for a PG-13 movie.

Basically, if you’re looking for a movie that is fun to watch on a weekend afternoon, but you’re not looking for an award-worthy movie, this is the one for you!

No scenes after the credits.


Ant-Man and The Wasp

After the Avengers: Infinity War movie, this movie was a refreshing, uplifting change of pace.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved AIW but its overall tone was serious, whereas this movie is all fun.  That, plus the characters and the dialog are some of the reasons that this movie gets a solid 4 Icees (out of 5).

First, the story.  I thought it was well-written, just like the first one.  It definitely comes at you with a lighter tone and more laughs, but at the same time there is a seriousness to it with the overall mission (with a limited window of time, of course).  There are bad people (of course) and incompetent good guys (which is kind of a shame… one of the reasons the movie didn’t rate higher for me). Overall, it’s just a fun story that the entire family will enjoy.

Then the acting. Michael Pena once again steals every scene he is in, but in the other scenes Paul Rudd and Evangeline Lilly are great, and their chemistry works really well. Even Abby Ryder Forston (Cassie, Ant-Man’s daughter) does a good job.  I thought her acting was a little less than good in the original.  I guess getting a couple of years older has helped her (maybe she took acting lessons?).

Finally, the action.  These are done really well, from the choreography of the fight scenes to the enlarging/shrinking of items…  just pure fun, which is the best way to describe this movie overall… just pure fun.

There is an important scene partway through the credits and another scene after the credits are done.


Incredibles 2

14 years after the first movie came out, the sequel is made and it’s good!  It’s 4 Icees out of 5 good!  Before I go on about this movie, let me give you a serious warning.  If you or your children have epilipsy or suffer seizures when lights blink, you should avoid this movie!  It’s sad, but when they made it they didn’t even think of this possible effect.  There are 3 or 4 scenes that could easily trigger a seizure.

Now that I’ve covered that (and met my PSA obligation for the month), let’s talk about the movie itself.  It picks up right after the last one ended (no, 14 years did not pass…  just a few moments).  If you remember the last movie, a giant drilling machine popped out of the ground.  Well, the story continues from there.

The movie starts off a bit slow (one of the reasons it gets 4 Icees instead of 5), but when it picks up, it’s hilarious.  Jack-Jack is the scene stealer and the main star of this movie.  Just about everything with him is great.  To go into details would be a spoiler, but remember the original movie and how when he was way up in the air (where his family could not see him) he showed he does have powers?  Okay, just making sure.

The only negative (besides the stupidity to make a kids’ movie that can cause seizures) is the fact that this movie perpetuates a negative stereotype about men; that we can’t raise our own kids.  It makes me kind of mad when movies do that because there are plenty of men out that do perfectly well taking care of our children, thank you very much.

That negative is easily offset by the hilarity that ensues. The kids in the theater absolutely loved this movie.  They laughed out loud on several occasions (which didn’t happen during Finding Dory, just sayin’).  To me, this is Pixar’s best movie in many years.

There are no scenes during or after the credits.


Oceans 8

This is the second movie I watched this weekend with so much promise left unfulfilled (see Hotel Artemis), however this one is a bit more entertaining so I will give it 3 Icees out of 5.

It does its job of telling a story of a jewelry heist.  It could have done it with more comedy. It could have done it with more flair.  But, it did do it.

This cast was phenominal. Sandy, Cate, Rhianna, Mindy, Helena, Anne, Awkwafina and Sarah.  What’s not to love?  All this potential and all it really did was tell a story.  It wasn’t a ‘bad’ story, but it wasn’t a great one either. For me, Helena Bonham Carter was awesome.  She was a-typical Helena.  I wonder if she is this quirky in real life? It seems that every time I see her, she is playing an eccentric of some sort.  Oh well…  The other ladies were good too, but there just wasn’t enough interaction.  Hopefully that’s just because this movie took a bit to get set up and didn’t have time for the banter that I was expecting.

In any event, if you loved the Oceans series of movies so far, you should like this one ok, but for me… just like with the reboot of Ghostbusters with an all-female lead, there was so much emphasis on placing the ladies in these roles, they forgot how best to use them once they got there.

Now, I did give this movie 3 Icees, which is right about where my cutoff point is as to whether I recommend seeing a movie or not, so this one I do as it is enjoyable and things at the box office were a bit slow this weekend, but once the summer starts heating up again, this movie will be left in the dust so see it while you can or put it on your Redbox list.

No scenes during or after the credits


Hotel Artemis

For me, despite an excellent cast with some decent performances, this movie was disappointing and therefore only gets 2.5 Icees out of 5.  It just seemed like there was so much more that this movie could have been, and it just didn’t live up to that expectation.

The cast did a good job with the bad script.  Jodie Foster was great as an aging, quirky medical professional. Sterling K. Brown, who is someone I am liking more and more each time I see him, did a serviceable job, but wasn’t really given the opportunity to showcase what he could do in an action flick.  On the other hand, Sofia Boutella (Kingsman, Mummy) continues to show that she can kick butt and look sexy doing it. Throw in a little Jeff Goldblum, Zachary Quinto and Charlie Day and this movie should have just blown everyone away.  The performances they gave are the only reason that this movies gets as high as 2.5 Icees.

Instead, the script was so limiting, so short-sighted.  I mean, you have the whole Hotel Artemis theme (think a medical version of The Continental from the John Wick movies), mix in a heist and some killing and this movie should have rocked it.  It just didn’t…  It…  just…  didn’t.

My recommendation… wait until this comes out at Redbox and catch it then.

There is a short scene as the credits start, but nothing after that.


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